Beta Anthem

The Beatles, Please Please Me:

Last night I said these words to my girl,
I know you never even try girl,
C’mon (C’mon) C’mon (C’mon) C’mon (C’mon) C’mon (C’mon)
Please please me, whoa yeah, like I please you
You don’t need me to show the way, love
Why do I always have to say “love?”
C’mon (C’mon) C’mon (C’mon) C’mon (C’mon) C’mon (C’mon)
Please please me, whoa yeah, like I please you
I don’t wanna sound complaining,
But you know there’s always rain in my heart (in my heart).
I do all the pleasing with you it’s so hard to reason
With you, whoa yeah, why do you make me blue?
Last night I said these words to my girl,
I know you never even try girl,
C’mon (C’mon) C’mon (C’mon) C’mon (C’mon) C’mon (C’mon)
Please please me, whoa yeah, like I please you

———————————

That pretty much sums up the beta experience.

I know you never even try, girl: Your own girlfriend makes no effort to please you, and sometimes even seems to be trying to make you unhappy.

I do all the pleasing with you: You, meanwhile, spend all of your effort trying to make her happy – but fail. Her apathy towards you parallels your obsession with making her happy.

You don’t need me to show the way, love: You don’t seize the leadership role in your relationship, and think you should teach her how to be more independent, when in fact she wants to less independent. The more distant she is, the more you want her to take the initiative sometimes to show that she loves you. The more you show that you want her to do this, the less respect she has for you, and the less attracted she is to you.

You know there’s always rain in my heart: You blame yourself for the failure of your relationship. You think you failed to achieve enough of what you did achieve, and need to be better at doing what you were doing. In reality, you lacked an understanding of women, and needed to think about your relationship in a very different way.

It’s so hard to reason with you: Her behavior mystifies you – after all, you wouldn’t act that way. She seems irrational when you try to talk reasonably about why she’s unhappy. You should have known better than to try to reason with a woman about something in her personal life, because what’s at stake isn’t what you’re talking about but rather something unacknowledged in her emotional life. Primarily, she’s unhappy because you aren’t taking on a man’s role in your relationship. She lacks the analytical and emotional distance to tell you this, or to talk rationally about personal matters, and will resent you for trying to make her develop it.

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About Pechorin

A Hero of Our Time
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