One basic inspiration for this blog is my attempt to integrate the effect of learning a decent level of game on the broader question of what life is about. Some have taken refuge in nihilism, others have asserted that banging hot chicks is a sufficient good. Here are some loosely connected thoughts, plus – at the end – a note on coming programming.
1. Involuntary celibacy broken by the odd relationship or by “getting lucky” is a miserable condition for men, particularly when other guys get whatever they want from women in return for nothing. It’s perfectly understandable that men threatened by this condition place the utmost importance on game.
2. Having numerous casual relationships with women runs into conflict with the natural desire for having a coherent life. I want my life to mean something, to accomplish something. Ultimately, what does not contribute to the final analysis of my life – no matter how pleasant – is wasted effort.
3. Suppose I could increase the attractiveness of the women I could typically get by one point on the ten point scale, from 7 (8 for a lot of guys, but I’m opposed to grade inflation) to 8. I would be very happy at the improvement, but would it really make me happy – not just happy for the moment, but happy at my life in its entirety? I can’t imagine lying on my deathbed wishing I’d had sex with more women, or even hotter ones. When I was 21 I certainly could have imagined this. Now I’ve had enough success to know that there are diminishing returns in this game. Momentary pleasure is not the ultimate human good – if it were we should all just get high on heroin all the time.
4. Marriage is the traditional answer to such situations, and it’s one that I have a lot of respect for, but the modern environment presents several obstacles. It’s not just that the legal system is particularly unfavorable for men, but also that I just don’t meet many women who seem to deserve a traditional husband. Getting married is a real sacrifice for a man, and I’m not sure if I’ll find the conditions that make it a good decision.
5. I don’t generally get attached to women anymore. That’s not to say I don’t still have emotions, even passion, but it’s a shallow passion. If a girl I think I really like starts to displease me, I don’t really care, I just stop really caring about her. It’s rootless passion, emotion without commitment. Some have suggested that this is actually the mature attitude, while traditional commitment is childish. I disagree.
6. Lest anyone think I’m playing into the tropes of “men with fear of commitment,” I haven’t observed many signs of real commitment from women, but only the wish to lock a man down for a while while they’re having a good time. Maybe women can start getting married “for better, for richer, in health, until I want to part.” Wanting a “committed” relationship is not necessarily a sign of commitment.
7. True love is always tied with the sense of the meaning of one’s whole life; it is about dedication. “I love you for now” is not love at all, although it’s a feeling easy to develop for someone who has pleased you for a time.
8. While it’s always been true that women were attracted to manly men, I believe that the remarkably easy success that men with game have today is possible only in a deeply flawed culture, one that has lost much of what made Western Civilization possible. Enjoying the decline is one option, but no man who takes this attitude can be truly happy. Happiness for men is power, achievement, victory, making a mark on the world. Making a mark in your bedpost is not enough.
9. My eponym, Pechorin, is taken from a literary character who faced – in a very different context – some of these same problems. Starting next week I’ll be running a series of excerpts from his story that illuminate various aspects of the condition of the morally serious red pill man.