Defining the Blog

Who am I, and why am I writing? Why does the world need another manosphere blog. I’ll answer tersely – I’m not interested in being a character, just an archetype.

Game helped me transform my life with women. The usual beta to alpha journey – not nutless-wuss-beta, simply lacks-understanding-of-how-to-socialize-with-women beta. I was always self confident / arrogant in my areas of interest, but grew up with terribly misguided ideas on women. As for my station in life, I’ll simply say that my eponym, the hero of Lermontov’s novel, is a man of twenty-five.

There’s been a lot written about game, and there’s not that much I can add, but my spare thoughts on applying game may be useful in promulgating and implementing the knowledge that’s already out there. Even when the main ideas of a subject have been set out, it takes a lot of writers to disseminate them, to work out difficulties, and to arrive at a synthesis.

Beyond the technical game aspect, in the broader realm of applied game, one important niche is being filled by the relationship and marriage game guys. That’s not me yet. My modest contribution is likely to be about the relation of game to other subjects. In particular I want to write about the effect of game on a man’s life and its relation to his other goals and plans.

Besides, I need the practice writing. I haven’t done any non-technical writing since college, and I can feel my verbal skills atrophying.

Distinctiveness

Research has shown that the average of female faces is far more attractive than the average female face. That is, if you average the features of many average girls, you get a pretty girl. This really isn’t that surprising, since averaging allows defects to cancel out, and you get a face which, if it isn’t striking, at least has no glaring flaws.

I wonder if the same isn’t true of women’s personalities as well. Sometimes a boring girl without any annoying personality traits sounds very appealing. Yet it’s girls with striking though (slightly!) imperfect faces that draw me in, and girls who appealed to me even in their flaws that I remember.

When you are old and gray and full of sleep
And nodding by the fire, take down this book,
And slowly read, and dream of the soft look
Your eyes had once, and of their shadows deep;

How many loved your moments of glad grace,
And loved your beauty with love false or true;
But one man loved the pilgrim soul in you,
And loved the sorrows of your changing face.

And bending down beside the glowing bars,
Murmur, a little sadly, how love fled
And paced upon the mountains overhead,
And hid his face amid a crowd of stars.

What Price Game?

Manosphere Nietzschean dangerandplay points out that shame and decency are counterproductive in our narcissistic and socially atomized urban culture. He’s right. Before I learned about game and started thinking through how social relations really work today, I was a far more scrupulous, thoughtful, and considerate man than I am now, at least where strangers are concerned. I worried a great deal about moral niceties that could never have any impact on my life. Now, only rarely.

The Badger Hut describes the situation today as offering men two doors to choose between:

DOOR #1: Trade innumerable emails (or get set up by friends), have the awkward “I didn’t expect her voice to sound like that” introductory phone call, take the initiative to set up a date doing something you hope she might enjoy, go on the actual date (hope she doesn’t flake), talk to her, try to figure out what she’s like and whether you’d be interested in a long-term partnership (and oh by the way pick up the bill with no expectation of her investment), and hope you don’t slip up and say something she’ll sneer at and have to start all over with somebody else…

DOOR #2: Pursue a pump-and-dump lifestyle. Go hard into PUA game praxis, building a toolbox of seductive skills in accordance with your God-given personality while you emotionally firewall yourself from the betatizing effects of romance. Pluses of this strategy:

Within five minutes, you’ll know if she has rejected you out of hand.

Within thirty minutes you’ll have a pretty good idea if she finds you attractive.

Within two or three meetings (Mystery posits a seven-hour acculturation period) she’ll sleep with you, if she’s going to sleep with you at all.

Rinse and repeat…

Why should men preserve any of the moral scruples we have inherited from our civilization, when we see that they don’t directly benefit our lives? If we are merely isolated individuals, there’s no reason we should. On the other hand, experience has shown that when we all hold them, civilization advances, and when we discard them, it stagnates.

Men built civilization in no small measure for the sake of women. Today, women ask us to tear it down, and we – yes, even the alphas – are obliging their request. Still, ladies, we’d like to ask you – are you sure you’ve thought this through?

Chris Rock On Alimony and Prenups

More Game With Feynman

Continuing with the theme of my last post, here’s some more examples from Feynman’s writings showing how to deal with women.

Game Principle 1: Don’t Answer Questions Directly

I remember the first dance that I went to. I hadn’t been dancing for three or four years while I was at Los Alamos; I hadn’t even been in society.

So I went to this dance and danced as best I could, which I thought was reasonably all right. You can usually tell somebody’s dancing with you and they feel pretty good about it.

As we danced I would talk with the girl a little bit; she would ask me some questions about myself, and I would ask some about her. But when I wanted to dance with a girl I had danced with before, I had to look for her.

“Would you like to dance again?”

“No, I’m sorry; I need some air.” Or, “Well, I have to go to the ladies’ room”–this and that excuse, from two or three girls in a row! What was the matter with me? Was my dancing lousy? Was my personality lousy?

I danced with another girl, and again came the usual questions: “Are you a student, or a graduate student?” (There were a lot of students who looked old then because they had been in the army.)

“No, I’m a professor.”

“Oh? A professor of what?”

“Theoretical physics.”

“I suppose you worked on the atomic bomb.”

“Yes, I was at Los Alamos during the war.”

She said, “You’re a damn liar!”–and walked off.

That relieved me a great deal. It explained everything. I had been telling all the girls the simple-minded, stupid truth, and I never knew what the trouble was. It was perfectly obvious that I was being shunned by one girl after another when I did everything perfectly nice and natural and was polite, and answered the questions. Everything would look very pleasant, and then thwoop –it wouldn’t work. I didn’t understand it until this woman fortunately called me a damn liar.

So then I tried to avoid all the questions, and it had the opposite effect:

“Are you a freshman?”

“Well, no.”

“Are you a graduate student?”

“No.”

“What are you?”

“I don’t want to say.”

“Why won’t you tell us what you are?”

“I don’t want to . . . –and they’d keep talking to me!

I ended up with two girls over at my house and one of them told me that I really shouldn’t feel uncomfortable about being a freshman; there were plenty of guys my age who were starting out in college, and it was really all right. They were sophomores, and were being quite motherly, the two of them. They worked very hard on my psychology, but I didn’t want the situation to get so distorted and so misunderstood, so I let them know I was a professor. They were very upset that I had fooled them. I had a lot of trouble being a young professor at Cornell.

Game Principle 2: Don’t Leave It On the Vine

From a story about Feynman learning to draw:

Whenever I met a young woman who looked as if she would be interesting to draw, I would ask her to pose for me. It always ended up that I would draw her face, because I didn’t know exactly how to bring up the subject of posing nude.

Once when I was over at Jerry’s, I said to his wife Dabney, “I can never get the girls to pose nude: I don’t know how Jerry does it!”

“Well, did you ever ask them?”

“Oh! I never thought of that.”

The next girl I met that I wanted to pose for me was a Caltech student. I asked her if she would pose nude. “Certainly,” she said, and there we were! So it was easy. I guess there was so much in the back of my mind that I thought it was somehow wrong to ask.

Game Principle 3: The Neg

“See that woman over there?” he said. “She’s a really good lawyer. Come on, I’ll introduce you to her.”

John introduced us and excused himself to go to the restroom. He never came back. I think he wanted to get back with his “wife” and I was beginning to interfere.

I said, “Hi” to the woman and ordered a drink for myself (still playing this game of not being impressed and not being a gentleman).

“You know,” she said to me, “I’m one of the better lawyers here in Las Vegas.”

“Oh, no, you’re not,” I replied coolly. “You might be a lawyer during the day, but you know what you are right now? You’re just a barfly in a small bar in Vegas.”

She liked me, and we went to a few places dancing. She danced very well, and I love to dance, so we had a great time together.

Feynman Had Game

Richard Feynman is hero worshiped to a disgusting degree by young physics students, but hey, the guy was remarkable. Not only was he a great scientist, he was pretty good with women. The fact that Feynman was able to learn game shows the essentially empirical nature of game: it’s about what works in practice, in our current society. Feynman was more inclined to respect new and surprising data than most people, even most scientists, so he learned game very easily.

Feynman shows his knowledge of women in several places in his writings, but the most sustained exposition is his story “You Just Ask Them?” He’s talking to a couple at a bar.

Eventually I told them that I was struck by something: “I’m fairly intelligent,” I said, “but probably only about physics. But in that bar there are lots of intelligent guys–oil guys, mineral guys, important businessmen, and so forth– and all the time they’re buying the girls drinks, and they get nothin’ for it!” (By this time I had decided that nobody else was getting anything out of all those drinks either.) “How is it possible,” I asked, “that an ‘intelligent’ guy can be such a goddamn fool when he gets into a bar?”

The master said, “This I know all about. I know exactly how it all works. I will give you lessons, so that hereafter you can get something from a girl in a bar like this. But before I give you the lessons, I must demonstrate that I really know what I’m talking about. So to do that, Gloria will get a man to buy you a champagne cocktail.”

After the demonstration, he gets an explanation of how women can manipulate a man at a bar.

“The whole principle is this: The guy wants to be a gentleman. He doesn’t want to be thought of as impolite, crude, or especially a cheapskate. As long as the girl knows the guy’s motives so well, it’s easy to steer him in the direction she wants him to go.

“Therefore,” he continued, “under no circumstances be a gentleman! You must disrespect the girls. Furthermore, the very first rule is, don’t buy a girl anything–not even a package of cigarettes–until you’ve asked her if she’ll sleep with you, and you’re convinced that she will, and that she’s not lying.”

“Uh . . . you mean . . . you don’t . . . uh . . . you just ask them?”

“OK,” he says, “I know this is your first lesson, and it may be hard for you to be so blunt. So you might buy her one thing–just one little something–before you ask. But on the other hand, it will only make it more difficult.”

He takes a while to internalize the mindset:

All during the next day I built up my psychology differently: I adopted the attitude that those bar girls are all bitches, that they aren’t worth anything, and all they’re in there for is to get you to buy them a drink, and they’re not going to give you a goddamn thing; I’m not going to be a gentleman to such worthless bitches, and so on. I learned it till it was automatic.

That night he tries it out at a bar, and gets to see the effect of his new attitude in action.

Then that night I was ready to try it out. I go into the bar as usual, and right away my friend says, “Hey, Dick! Wait’ll you see the girl I got tonight! She had to go change her clothes, but she’s coming right back.”

“Yeah, yeah,” I say, unimpressed, and I sit at another table to watch the show. My friend’s girl comes in just as the show starts, and I’m thinking, “I don’t give a damn how pretty she is; all she’s doing is getting him to buy her drinks, and she’s going to give him nothing!”

After the first act my friend says, “Hey, Dick! I want you to meet Ann. Ann, this is a good friend of mine, Dick Feynman.”

I say “Hi” and keep looking at the show.

A few moments later Ann says to me, “Why don’t you come and sit at the table here with us?”

I think to myself, “Typical bitch: he’s buying her drinks, and she’s inviting somebody else to the table.” I say, “I can see fine from here.”

A little while later a lieutenant from the military base nearby comes in, dressed in a nice uniform. It isn’t long before we notice that Ann is sitting over on the other side of the bar with the lieutenant!

Later that evening I’m sitting at the bar, Ann is dancing with the lieutenant, and when the lieutenant’s back is toward me and she’s facing me, she smiles very pleasantly to me. I think again, “Some bitch! Now she’s doing this trick on the lieutenant even!”

Then I get a good idea: I don’t look at her until the lieutenant can also see me, and then I smile back at her, so the lieutenant will know what’s going on. So her trick didn’t work for long.

A few minutes later she’s not with the lieutenant any more, but asking the bartender for her coat and handbag, saying in a loud, obvious voice, “I’d like to go for a walk. Does anybody want to go for a walk with me?”

I think to myself, “You can keep saying no and pushing them off, but you can’t do it permanently, or you won’t get anywhere. There comes a time when you have to go along.” So I say coolly, “I’ll walk with you.” So we go out. We walk down the street a few blocks and see a café, and she says, “I’ve got an idea–let’s get some coffee and sandwiches, and go over to my place and eat them.”

The idea sounds pretty good, so we go into the café and she orders three coffees and three sandwiches and I pay for them.

As we’re going out of the café, I think to myself, “Something’s wrong: too many sandwiches!”

On the way to her motel she says, “You know, I won’t have time to eat these sandwiches with you, because a lieutenant is coming over..

I think to myself, “See, I flunked. The master gave me a lesson on what to do, and I flunked. I bought her $1.10 worth of sandwiches, and hadn’t asked her anything, and now I know I’m gonna get nothing! I have to recover, if only for the pride of my teacher.”

I stop suddenly and I say to her, “You . . . are worse than a WHORE!”

“Whaddya mean?”

“You got me to buy these sandwiches, and what am I going to get for it? Nothing!”

“Well, you cheapskate!” she says. “If that’s the way you feel, I’ll pay you back for the sandwiches!”

I called her bluff: “Pay me back, then.”

She was astonished. She reached into her pocketbook, took out the little bit of money that she had and gave it to me. I took my sandwich and coffee and went off.

After I was through eating, I went back to the bar to report to the master. I explained everything, and told him I was sorry that I flunked, but I tried to recover.

He said very calmly, “It’s OK, Dick; it’s all right. Since you ended up not buying her anything, she’s gonna sleep with you tonight.”

“What? ”

“That’s right,” he said confidently; “she’s gonna sleep with you. I know that.”

“But she isn’t even here! She’s at her place with the lieu–”

“It’s all right.”

Two o’clock comes around, the bar closes, and Ann hasn’t appeared. I ask the master and his wife if I can come over to their place again. They say sure.

Just as we’re coming out of the bar, here comes Ann, running across Route 66 toward me. She puts her arm in mine, and says, “Come on, let’s go over to my place.

The master was right. So the lesson was terrific!

Feynman goes deeper in the postscript:

When I was back at Cornell in the fall, I was dancing with the sister of a grad student, who was visiting from Virginia. She was very nice, and suddenly I got this idea: “Let’s go to a bar and have a drink,” I said.

On the way to the bar I was working up nerve to try the master’s lesson on an ordinary girl. After all, you don’t feel so bad disrespecting a bar girl who’s trying to get you to buy her drinks–but a nice, ordinary, Southern girl?

We went into the bar, and before I sat down, I said, “Listen, before I buy you a drink, I want to know one thing: Will you sleep with me tonight?”

“Yes.”

So it worked even with an ordinary girl! But no matter how effective the lesson was, I never really used it after that. I didn’t enjoy doing it that way. But it was interesting to know that things worked much differently from how I was brought up.

Why Smart Guys Have Trouble With Game

I was looking through the collection of files I’ve saved about game over the years, and came across one that I have to share. It’s a comment left somewhere by T. of The Rawness – I’ve lost the exact link. The Rawness, by the way, is an excellent blog, especially the “31 days of game” series. T’s comment explains perfectly why it took me so long to implement basic game advice, and I think it does the same for a lot of smart guys, especially those in STEM fields.

———–
“This thread has been pretty enlightening. A few threads ago people were discussing why smart people do so badly socially, especially those in the hard sciences. After this comments section it’s hit me: information snobbery.

“The same rigorous information standards one does (and should) apply to the hard sciences high IQ nerd types try to apply to fluid soft concepts like female morality, sexual attraction and human nature in general. It’s a very binary mindset for them, 0 or 1, if you can’t conclusively prove something with a double-blind, randomized study with a flawless methodology or the finding isn’t from someone who has impressive enough IQ, peer-reviewed or Ivy credentials, all the findings must be tossed out, throwing out the baby with the bathwater. Extremely smart people, if they can’t make exact logical sense of something and understand exactly WHY something is true, then they refuse to believe it’s true, which kills them with social understanding where things are often illogical or counterintuitive or contradictory, especially in the minds of women.

“Look at all the people who are naturally good with people and women. They usually are not the type of people to be high IQ genius study-reading brainiacs. If they needed to nitpick and get 100% foolproof feedback with airtight, rigorous scientific testing and Ivy league citations before adopting every belief that helped them with people and women in particular, they wouldn’t have the social success that they do. If they get a notion about women that seems plausible enough, even if just based on anecdotes, they just try it out for themselves and see if its true or not, or whether it works. They examine their past life experiences to see if it rings true with their own experiences. They talk to other guys with game and run it by each other. Nerds sit around debating if the credentials of the messenger are impressive enough to open their minds to the information and waste energy demanding better and more impressive studies or publication sources before even moving on to evaluating and seriously engaging content and field testing. Is it any wonder nerds are always playing catch up?? BY the time any social concept would ever satisfy such rigorous criteria, the intuitively socially savvy people have already long adopted it and moved on.

“To me this is the beauty of the pickup game, it took long-accepted player and mack truisms and gave it enough scientific plausibility and reverse-engineering to let a large enough group of high IQ types willing to accept it, since they can’t accept things on faith alone but only after the case is airtight and the concept has been totally reverse-engineered. The problem is, even many people who accept pickup concepts that have been validated through evo psych keep hitting stumbling blocks when introduced newer concepts that are validated only by anecdotal information and non-scientists.

“Think of every naturally gifted person with women you’ve ever seen. Ask them how many of their beliefs they validated through the same scientific verification methods people use for testing pharmaceuticals and other areas. Ask them whether they intensively screened their mentors for top academic and career credentials, racist beliefs or exacting objectivity before considering every new piece of information they came across, or whether they treated all new info with an open mind.

“This need for bijectivity, airtight logic, emotion-free detached analysis as the prerequisites to understanding something inherently subjective, illogical, counterintuitive, emotional and involved are the exact reasons why nerds are the worst at and most bitter at the game of love. The people who excel at this are willing to make leaps of faith, go against conventional logic on hunches and accept anecdotes and personal experience to a degree.”

——————————
The only thing I have to add to that is this: if you’re afraid that what he says forces you into an anti-intellectual outlook, you’re wrong. As Aristotle wrote in the Nicomachean Ethics “We must be content, in speaking of such subjects [i.e. real world, practical subjects, concerning humans and their actions], to indicate the truth roughly and in outline, and in speaking about things which are only for the most part true and with premises of the same kind to reach conclusions that are no better. In the same spirit, therefore, should each type of statement be received; for it is the mark of an educated man to look for precision in each class of things just so far as the nature of the subject admits; it is evidently equally foolish to accept probable reasoning from a mathematician and to demand from a rhetorician scientific proofs.” STEM guys are often poorly educated outside of technical fields, but our superiority in those technical fields makes us arrogant, and we imagine that everything everywhere should be done by the same standards as our own work. STEM guys tend to unconsciously adopt an epistemology that denies the possibility of attaining knowledge outside the hard sciences. This is a mark not of intellectual strength, but of weakness, and it limits one’s ability to pick up certain practical arts.

Introverts and Extroverts

BB of BBsezmmore has been posting on relationships between introverts and extroverts. As an introvert my nature, sometimes extrovert by training, I can identify a little with each side. She says everything that needs to be said, but here are a few addenda.

1. While introverts not particularly eager to make small talk under any circumstances, they are particularly reluctant to do so around strangers. In a large group of friends who’ve known each other for years, an introvert will be able to find conversation; in a similar group of near strangers an introvert will probably remain silent unless prompted.

2. Context matters. Many introverts can talk at great length about topics that interest them. If you go to any kind of geek festival, you’ll see groups of people who normally act introverted talking up a storm. A group organized around some topic, purpose, or task is more likely to draw out an introvert than one based on casual socializing.

3. Small talk can be learned. I’ll never be a social butterfly, but I’m a lot more comfortable chatting with strangers than I once was. Learning to run your mouth is an essential part of meeting and dating girls today. This holds most strongly when people are mostly strangers and are highly mobile, i.e. for young urbanites.

Don’t Ask a Girl to Replace You

A friend of mine’s live in girlfriend recently broke up with him. Now she’s “casually seeing” (in her own words) an acquaintance of his that he’d introduced to her. He had a bad habit of encouraging his girlfriend to get to know men he considered interesting, because he really thought that men and women can easily be just friends. I tried to warn him about this a couple of times, but guys are usually determined to make their own mistakes.

I don’t mean to say that men should try to isolate their girlfriends, but inviting another guy to take a masculine role in relation to your girlfriend (in my friend’s example, this was stuff like teaching her something) is just playing with fire. The story of Gyges and Candaules from Herodotus’ Histories illustrates the point in a particularly dramatic way.

Now it happened that this Candaules was in love with his own wife; and not only so, but thought her the fairest woman in the whole world. This fancy had strange consequences. There was in his bodyguard a man whom he specially favoured, Gyges, the son of Dascylus. All affairs of greatest moment were entrusted by Candaules to this person, and to him he was wont to extol the surpassing beauty of his wife. So matters went on for a while. At length, one day, Candaules, who was fated to end ill, thus addressed his follower: “I see thou dost not credit what I tell thee of my lady’s loveliness; but come now, since men’s ears are less credulous than their eyes, contrive some means whereby thou mayst behold her naked.” At this the other loudly exclaimed, saying, “What most unwise speech is this, master, which thou hast uttered? Wouldst thou have me behold my mistress when she is naked? Bethink thee that a woman, with her clothes, puts off her bashfulness. Our fathers, in time past, distinguished right and wrong plainly enough, and it is our wisdom to submit to be taught by them. There is an old saying, ‘Let each look on his own.’ I hold thy wife for the fairest of all womankind. Only, I beseech thee, ask me not to do wickedly.”

Gyges thus endeavoured to decline the king’s proposal, trembling lest some dreadful evil should befall him through it. But the king replied to him, “Courage, friend; suspect me not of the design to prove thee by this discourse; nor dread thy mistress, lest mischief be. thee at her hands. Be sure I will so manage that she shall not even know that thou hast looked upon her. I will place thee behind the open door of the chamber in which we sleep. When I enter to go to rest she will follow me. There stands a chair close to the entrance, on which she will lay her clothes one by one as she takes them off. Thou wilt be able thus at thy leisure to peruse her person. Then, when she is moving from the chair toward the bed, and her back is turned on thee, be it thy care that she see thee not as thou passest through the doorway.”

Gyges, unable to escape, could but declare his readiness. Then Candaules, when bedtime came, led Gyges into his sleeping-chamber, and a moment after the queen followed. She entered, and laid her garments on the chair, and Gyges gazed on her. After a while she moved toward the bed, and her back being then turned, he glided stealthily from the apartment. As he was passing out, however, she saw him, and instantly divining what had happened, she neither screamed as her shame impelled her, nor even appeared to have noticed aught, purposing to take vengeance upon the husband who had so affronted her. For among the Lydians, and indeed among the barbarians generally, it is reckoned a deep disgrace, even to a man, to be seen naked.

No sound or sign of intelligence escaped her at the time. But in the morning, as soon as day broke, she hastened to choose from among her retinue such as she knew to be most faithful to her, and preparing them for what was to ensue, summoned Gyges into her presence. Now it had often happened before that the queen had desired to confer with him, and he was accustomed to come to her at her call. He therefore obeyed the summons, not suspecting that she knew aught of what had occurred. Then she addressed these words to him: “Take thy choice, Gyges, of two courses which are open to thee. Slay Candaules, and thereby become my lord, and obtain the Lydian throne, or die this moment in his room. So wilt thou not again, obeying all behests of thy master, behold what is not lawful for thee. It must needs be that either he perish by whose counsel this thing was done, or thou, who sawest me naked, and so didst break our usages.” At these words Gyges stood awhile in mute astonishment; recovering after a time, he earnestly besought the queen that she would not compel him to so hard a choice. But finding he implored in vain, and that necessity was indeed laid on him to kill or to be killed, he made choice of life for himself, and replied by this inquiry: “If it must be so, and thou compellest me against my will to put my lord to death, come, let me hear how thou wilt have me set on him.” “Let him be attacked,” she answered, “on the spot where I was by him shown naked to you, and let the assault be made when he is asleep.”

All was then prepared for the attack, and when night fell, Gyges, seeing that he had no retreat or escape, but must absolutely either slay Candaules, or himself be slain, followed his mistress into the sleeping-room. She placed a dagger in his hand and hid him carefully behind the self-same door. Then Gyges, when the king was fallen asleep, entered privily into the chamber and struck him dead. Thus did the wife and kingdom of Candaules pass into the possession of Gyges.

How to Respond to an Invitation

A Dutch gal issues an invitation. Eating oysters is a nice touch.

One special sort of IOI  is the invitation. This is when a woman you haven’t met yet gives you a signal showing that she wants you to approach her. Identifying these takes a certain amount of social intelligence that you only get with experience. Most men completely miss invitations, while others go to the opposite extreme and think every glance indicates sexual passion.

How should you respond to an invitation? Some guys advise that you respond immediately to such IOI’s, citing the three second rule. This is usually the best course of action in busy, social environments. When you’re in a location where people go for some reason other than socializing – at a coffee shop, for instance – you might want to wait a while after her invitation before approaching. Running right over to her comes off as reactive, since you’re effectively jumping at her command. As always, doing something (assuming you’re interested) is infinitely better than doing nothing out of fear. “Hi” is good enough, as long as you come across as confident and secure in yourself.

In general, girls who issue an invitation in a daytime environment are more interested in you than girls who do so at night, probably because not many girls go out during the day with the explicit intention of talking to a lot of men. These girls are more likely to make an effort at conversation, so you should stick to whatever kind of game/conversation you’re most comfortable with. You’re going for a layup here: it’s no time to try your new trickshot. She liked you enough to invite you, so as long as you come across as an interesting and confident guy she’s likely to stay attracted enough to see you again. At night, girls are more likely to issue invitations to men just for fun, so you shouldn’t assume she already likes you.